David Guinness

Hi faith, I enjoyed reading this poem. I like the title. Could "I want your words," possibly be on one line? This would even out the flow a bit. Let ...

A pretty good "power-poem", if you will. Like Cassandra said, theose hyphens you don't really need. Perhaps you could put the last line in italics, or do something, just so ...

Thanks, Rei, for the crit. As far as I can tell, everyone has said pretty much exactly what I have been thinking... That's good to know, I think. :D I'll ...

Welcome, Storytale! I hope you gain much from your time here at YWS. In addition to the FAQ, the Rules and Guides (found on the left-hand side of the Index ...

Yes, I agree with the darker tone. I expect that will arise naturally as I add more detail to the story. I'll work on it. Thanks again!

Thanks, MetalHead. Also, this, It seems the Stone has been locked away, safeguarded in the New Domain. A knight from the Old Kingdom has been sent secretly to reclaim the ...

ONYX -Prologue- A slight, dark man sat in a corner, peering through a dingy window in a seedy tavern, out into the road ahead. Two cloaked horsemen galloped suddenly by, ...

Enjoy the uhh... *hesitates*... sharks... and romantic bubble bath... Because we all know how well they go together. Not to mention that along with human combustion, of course... Ah, indeed, ...

The best work I've done has been produced in a noisy classroom. I guess it's the stimulating atmosphere. Perhaps it's that the noise is so completely monotonous (albeit loud) that ...

I refer you simply to my other post on a similar topic. While you're there, please read Dream Deep's as well. Poor_Imp's right; there's nothing else to say.

Sharty, there's no need to be defensive or condescending. By posting your work, you implicitly request our opinions and advice to improve your writing. When several people agree on the ...

You might change "Why can I not fly with up in the air" to "Why can I not fly with her in the air..." Or something like that, just so ...

Hi Cameron, You show good promise as a poet. Of your work I've read, this is one of my favorites. However, occurring in most of your work are the same ...

This poem is beautifully written, Brad. The word choice is exquisite. I particularly like the mirror between "orchard yard" and "apple-sweet kisses." Some of the line breaks didn't feel quite ...

Warm Greetings, you fat imbecile!!! I hate your guts...although you are quite attractive in the right light... Why did you kill off my whole family?!?! You're wonderful. You're such a ...